If it’s accurate to say that a man with an experience is not at the mercy of one with an argument, then I’m definitely the former man. That which I have seen declare I unto thee! You could blindfold me; make me face the wall and I would tell straight up that this photo, below, was taken somewhere in Kigali.
In order to have a tangible, adventurous experience of Rwanda, you need to be quite literally down to earth and do a road trip there. If for some reason you prefer to fly, that’s okay. Except there’s a lot you’ll miss.
At the Gatuna boarder crossing, you’ll be ushered into Rwanda by someone that looks like the girl on the extreme right. That’s the one that stamps your passport. If you’re carrying any contraband, believe me, you’ll hand it over before she even says a word!
Second from the left is her assistant. That’s what she looks like on an awfully bad day: work stress, annoying boyfriend, that-time-of-the-month mood swings fully activated et al. Generally, terrible day! She even forgot to wear her make up that morning!
In the meantime, the one in a blue dress, standing: there’s like ten of those queued up at the counter next to you. No, they’re not lining for the Miss World [more like Miss Milky Way!] auditions—beauty pageant auditions don’t happen at the border point, cow! They’re just checking in at the immigrations desk.
So, you’ve been cleared to proceed. God knows you’re really trying your best to mind your business, but there’s plenty of girl-in-white randomly scattered all over the place. My friend with whom I’m traveling to Kigali on this eve of Christmas is pretending not to have noticed anything unusual. Just so you know, I’ve got a nose for sniffing out pretense!
I call him to attention and ask if he has perceived a weird situation in this place. He almost instantly comes clean. At that point I’m like the priest inside a confession booth listening to a wretched sinner announcing all his sinful deeds to me. His transgressions were pardoned, in case you’re wondering!
An hour or so later, you’re in the heart of Kigali. Turns out things got worse! You’re new to this place and obviously need help with directions. Depending on your personality, part of the plan isn’t merely finding your way around town, but also getting to associate—even make friends—with people you’ll meet, especially those in your age bracket.
Problem is, nearly everyone that passes you looks like the girl in gold and blue. Seems like a wonderful problem to have, but being new to the culture, you’re quite cautious whom and how you ask for directions—what if she screams and people think you’re harassing the girl! The last thing you want (at least not this soon!) is to behold the Heavens opened and the Son of man standing at the right hand of God, as the locals descend on you!
However, the next few that follow her look like the girl on extreme left. Meanwhile, this is downtown Kigali. So, clearly, you‘ve hardly seen a thing! “God, stap it please!” you exclaim! But He doesn’t.
When the second-from-right girl shows up, you’re thinking, “Kama mbaya mbaya!” [come what may!]. You bite the bullet, approach her and ask for directions to a place called Remera. She stops and gives you audience! Finally! Hallelujah!
Then she answers back in English, but with that charming thick French accent. You need to take extreme precaution, though, cos this is the sort of accent that could cause you to develop a dangerous heart-pounding condition, which in medical terms is called mycardiolikesyouosis! I shall not explain any further.
Well, at least you got the directions. Er–not exactly! Thing is, you heard what the lady said, but you were too distracted by her smashing looks, you did not listen to what she said! You didn’t process the message properly. Your neurons totally froze. Basically, you’re back to square one!
If it were a class, I think Fundamentals of Kigali is what this course unit should’ve been titled. This also appears to be the story of how God assembled the most beautiful women in the world in a single location—Kigali. And then—[deep sigh!]—He came over to Kampala and said, “For Em, I’ll create a special one that none of these could possibly match!” I’ll not be entertaining any questions regarding this!
At this juncture is when I convey my most sincere apologies for making you repeatedly scroll up and down as you struggled to keep up with the story and the characters in the photo!
😄😄😄