On this first day of December, I’ve wondered to myself about the appropriateness of conveying ‘Happy World Aids Day’ wishes. That doesn’t sound right at all. There’s nothing happy about Aids, or disease, for that matter. Spiritually speaking, any expression of sickness is nothing short of bondage.
Also, not many things are quite as binding or enslaving as debt. I mean, just look at the sheer amount of aids(!) that we, as Uganda, receive from the Western world in loans, grants, medical relief, kickbacks et al. Most, if not, all, are given with some level of expectation in return. That’s not to say the Eastern world is cutting us any better deals either.
Whereas they’re a little more upfront about their intentions, they’re just as vicious as their cunning Western counterparts. Alas! We’re constantly clearing the runway for Beijing to have smooth landings and not only quicken the takeover process of our resources and establishments, but giving them the opportunity to eventually turn us into some kind of communist outpost.
Hold up! Perhaps we should give China the benefit of the doubt this one time. Who knows, maybe after it becomes Jet-Li International Airport, thanks to the convenient fact that it handles jets, maybe it’s then that Entebbe will get that thoroughly transformed look and feel, befitting of an international getway.
As of now—and let’s be honest with ourselves—from an aerial vantage point: 35years later and that facility still looks much like some large warehouse on a farm, with decent parking space and a sizable concrete compound. ‘What on earth are planes doing at this farm warehouse?’ you wonder! Notwithstanding, it’s still our warehouse and we’ll not allow to be manipulated by China into giving it away.
That said, as a rule of thumb, whenever insects are dragged into any discourse in Uganda, it’s important to realize that money has either changed hands or is about to! Explains why when the story about some lad selling grasshoppers on an airplane emerged, my suspicions quickly heightened. In this nature of situation, the insects are usually scapegoats! Never mind the irony!
If you remember well, a year or so back, the grasshoppers’ cousins, the locusts, became a hot subject when an entire brigade of the Ugandan Military was dispatched to go hunt them down in the north-east Karamoja region. And just like that, our military’s pristine CV of accomplishments broadened. Hallelujah!
More to that, those insects are said to have been the most deadly locust species ever known to mankind since Pharaoh versus Israel. It’s therefore not surprising that this undertaking required a handsome budget whose figures were to reflect a corresponding degree of seriousness. Or deadliness! Obviously, that too would be followed up with an additional budget, commonly known as supplementary.
Speaking of which, the day State House will fall for the temptation to take out a loan from China to feed their insatiable craving for supplementary cash, might be the day they regret why they were born.
I’m hoping, and I know you too are, that they’ll do, so that when they default, China will swiftly take over that place, including all occupants, and it’ll then become China House. Maybe that’s when these 1986ers will stop dishing out our belongings to foreigners and hopefully leave us in peace!
On the matter of hawking grasshoppers on an international flight; not least, on the national carrier, I think the implicated passenger must be arrested and charged with vending flavorless grasshoppers with neither onion, spice or, pepper. Those things looked so bland! That’s completely unacceptable. I can’t understand why the bureau of standards, UNBS, hasn’t released an official statement condemning this utter misrepresentation of classic Ugandan insect cuisine!
If for whatever reason either of the crested crane or kob on our national court of arms chose to retire, I’m absolutely persuaded that the gallant grasshopper would have zero reservations hopping up to the plate and assuming its new role. I sincerely look forward to that historic day!
Overall, may today, the World AIDS Day, serve as a reminder that we, as a nation, must desist from getting into multiple and boundless intimate relationships with other countries, or we’ll get sick!
As it stands, we keep getting caught flatfooted and, who knows if the bailiffs from that end will one day come to confiscate the entire Uganda landmass and annex it to Chinese territory. I suspect we’ll thereafter be renamed ‘Yu Ghangdzah Province.’ Ah!! God forbid!
