In the world of adventure, you’ll come across something called Extreme Tourism. This sort is largely popular with adrenaline junkies. It captures pretty much everything that normal, sane humans would rather not engage in, for the sole reason that there’s often too much risk involved.
The typical destinations for this nature of tourism include abandoned radioactive environments, uncharted territories with primitive aggressive tribes; desolate lands that experience hostile climatic conditions, and even war zones! The last bit, there, is how Afghanistan—arguably the war capital of the world—quite literally blasts ahead of the rest as a top-stop destination for war tourism.
However, before you hop onto that airplane—good luck finding a direct flight to Kabul—you’re encouraged to meet up with your insurer. Dare not consider leaving that meeting before signing up for the K&R insurance package. That’s Kidnap and Ransom! And here’s why:
In Kabul alone, more people will die from suicide bomb attacks in a single month than there will be that die from the Corona in Uganda in 2years. This is true if the jihadists are in a fairly good mood. Otherwise it could get way nastier!
As a tourist that is evidently aspiring to meet your Creator sooner rather than later, if you survive the bombers, chances are high that you’ll not escape getting kidnapped. Now you understand why you need the K&R package!
That notwithstanding, you probably want to arrange another meeting with your favorite funeral parlor so they can prepare your funeral beforehand, cos after receiving the ransom money, the Taliban will gladly slit your throat on live TV for a couple of reasons, which may include none.
When Rob Walker—remember the British broadcaster that spoke wonderful things about us at the Olympics?—when he praised Uganda as having the friendliest people in the entire solar system, I could swear President Joe Biden was listening in!
As soon as the situation in Afghanistan slipped out of hand with the Taliban imminently taking over the capital, old Joe decides to fetch 2000 Afghans and where should they be sent? Oh well, how about the friendliest place on the face of the earth! So, Biden whips out his phone, loads some data and sends a WhatsApp text to grandpa here. Without batting an eyelid, grandpa goes like: ‘Sure bro, just ship them over!’
Right, Joe, we in Uganda are friendly, but please don’t stretch it! Two thousand is only a small figure if it’s Ugandan currency. If it’s people, that’s a huge number! Particularly for a country that’s already got a load of its own issues.
Of the 2,000 Afghans, it’s certainly a safe bet to say that not all are refugees. Many are potentially Taliban fighters that have blended in with the desperate civilians. They’ll be screened? Yah! Good luck with that!
I hate to be the one that says this, but I doubt we want to get to the place where our country becomes an outpost for Islamic extremists. The Taliban, ISIL, Alshabaab and whatnot, are pretty much in the same league and probably consider themselves jihadi comrades. Their doctrine permits them to be violent towards anybody that interferes with or doesn’t acknowledge their ideology. What better target than Uganda? Never mind our unwelcome presence in Mogadishu!
I’m sure, though, that our leaders, ever overflowing with wisdom, considered all this! Overall, while friendliness is a great trait of the Ugandan people, it’s my hope that we’re not flirting with an explosive situation!
