Author

EM

Satire

2024 in the making.

My major problem with the visitors came during meal time. You know that point when the guest wants an additional serving of chicken, but there’s none left in the dish, yet there’s a piece on your plate? You, my friend, had to involuntarily sacrifice that juicy chicken wing!

Read more
Share this:
Music Review, Satire, Travel and Culture

Christmas then and now!

I’m not sure if in those days we were just misers, lazy, or maybe fancy decor ornaments simply didn’t exist yet, but our creative minds thought it smart to always use toilet paper in the place of ribbons! And, yep, there was a well-furnished supply of colorful rolls! So, you had linings of white, pink, green and blue toilet paper hanging from the ceiling all over the living room.

Read more
Share this:
Cuisine, Satire

Uganda’s grasshopper cult!

Don’t get me started on the pre-roasted ones! Those insects are up there shamelessly competing with the price of fuel, you’d think they’ve got some sort of aspiration of becoming a commodity on the stock exchange. So, now we even have to choose between driving and eating grasshoppers!

Read more
Share this:
Music Review, People

Joseph Sax: music that soothes the soul.

While attending class one day, he receives a phone call from Godfrey who asked him if he could make it to the Firebase studios later that night to record a tune for an ad that required a saxophone line. “When I got there, it wasn’t an ad. It was a song!” Joseph recounts. The song was called For better, For worse by Bobi Wine. Star struck, this was the day he met Bobi Wine for the first time.

Read more
Share this:
Opinion, Satire

How NOT to host the AFCON soccer tournament!

The last time Kenya’s Harambee Stars appeared in the AFCON after so many years was in 2019. Except their stars didn’t shine bright enough for them to see beyond the group stages. Same for Tanzania–2019! On the other hand, Uganda’s national soccer team, The Cranes, don’t even know what the rest of you are talking about. Their last flight to those heights was way back in 1978!

Read more
Share this:
People, Satire

I dumped my barber!

So far as I can tell, the sequence of events is that after your haircut, the barber dispatches you to a different station where you’re received by a lady who’ll be giving you the complimentary facial treatment. She’ll also be serving you a thorough massage to the head, neck, shoulders, plus your—uhm—see, right there is where this stuff gets a bit sticky!

Read more
Share this:
Cuisine, Satire

The legacy of Rolex!

The cheap limited edition comes with an iconic smokey, rusty taste that is derived from the often sooty pan on which it’s prepared. The smoke rising from the charcoal stove delicately sips into the omelette and is a fundamentally vital ingredient that can’t be taken for granted, cos you’ll never find that distinctive flavor in the neatly-made rolexes.

Read more
Share this:
Opinion, Satire

Modern cannibalism: hello, nice to eat you!

Cannibalism in itself has existed since ancient times, but has predominantly been practiced as a spiritual ritual or in the desperate times of famine rather than as a socially acceptable lifestyle. So, technically, human meat has been lurking in the shadows until now when the idea of normalizing its consumption is subtly crawling to the forefront.

Read more
Share this:
Satire

Uganda to World Bank: our bottoms are not up for grabs!

Postcolonial Africa has largely been the playground for the western world in the aspect of scrambling for, partitioning and exploitation of the continent’s vast natural resources at the expense of its citizens. With the emphatic arrival of the West’s nemeses, Russia and China, at the poker table, the landscape may have been altered for the better.

Read more
Share this:
People

The journey of a thousand miles!

My disposition towards the ladies effectively landed me in hot soup with some fellas for reasons best known to them. Possibly for jeopardizing their prospects! In those days, most students seemed far more familiar with the nuances of romantic relationships than my naive mind was. However, I now totally understand why I became the subject of numerous episodes of bullying in school.

Read more
Share this:
Close