Author

EM

Opinion

The Naked Truth About Hollywood!

When actors play serial killers, pedophiles, or portray indecency and sexual perversion, chances are high that it’s much more than just entertainment you’re dealing with. It’s often that they’re subtly indulging you in a paradigm of what, in their view, an ideal society should be like.

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Satire

What Next After Valentine’s?

At its most basic level, love is an intense feeling of affection. On the other end of the spectrum, it’s that overwhelming feeling of rejection that’s sure to leave your sanity hanging by a thread. If, like myself, you’re watching from the sidelines, Valentine’s day is the vehicle that will take you on a grand tour across both ranges.

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Opinion, People

How to be like Justice Julia Sebutinde!

On our way there, we make a number of pits stops to catch our breaths, appreciate the scenic surroundings and, like you guessed, take a few pictures for remembrance. It’s on one of these brief stops, halfway the journey, that we ran into a bunch of tourists. They’re heading back out of the game park. They’re quite friendly and seem eager to join us in our photo moment. After a few photos, we exchange pleasantries and inform them we’re from Uganda and, they—all three of them—say they’re from Israel.

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Satire

2024 In The Making.

My major problem with the visitors came during meal time. You know that point when the guest wants an additional serving of chicken, but there’s none left in the dish, yet there’s a piece on your plate? You, my friend, had to involuntarily sacrifice that juicy chicken wing!

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Music Review, Satire, Travel and Culture

Christmas Then and Now!

I’m not sure if in those days we were just misers, lazy, or maybe fancy decor ornaments simply didn’t exist yet, but our creative minds thought it smart to always use toilet paper in the place of ribbons! And, yep, there was a well-furnished supply of colorful rolls! So, you had linings of white, pink, green and blue toilet paper hanging from the ceiling all over the living room. For using toilet paper, I honestly wouldn’t blame you for thinking that was some shitty decor! But, hey, we didn’t seem to have issues with it, and neither did our guests. To all that, add a ton of twinkly lights, latex balloons and, mehn!—the strong scent that emerged from the house was nothing short of pure Christmas!

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Cuisine, Satire

Uganda’s Grasshopper Cult!

Don’t get me started on the pre-roasted ones! Those insects are up there shamelessly competing with the price of fuel, you’d think they’ve got some sort of aspiration of becoming a commodity on the stock exchange. So, now we even have to choose between driving and eating grasshoppers!

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Music Review, People

Joseph Sax: Music That Soothes The Soul.

While attending class one day, he receives a phone call from Godfrey who asked him if he could make it to the Firebase studios later that night to record a tune for an ad that required a saxophone line. “When I got there, it wasn’t an ad. It was a song!” Joseph recounts. The song was called For better, For worse by Bobi Wine. Star struck, this was the day he met Bobi Wine for the first time.

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Opinion, Satire

How NOT To Host The AFCON Soccer Tournament!

The last time Kenya’s Harambee Stars appeared in the AFCON after so many years was in 2019. Except their stars didn’t shine bright enough for them to see beyond the group stages. Same for Tanzania–2019! On the other hand, Uganda’s national soccer team, The Cranes, don’t even know what the rest of you are talking about. Their last flight to those heights was way back in 1978!

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People, Satire

I Dumped My Barber!

So far as I can tell, the sequence of events is that after your haircut, the barber dispatches you to a different station where you’re received by a lady who’ll be giving you the complimentary facial treatment. She’ll also be serving you a thorough massage to the head, neck, shoulders, plus your—uhm—see, right there is where this stuff gets a bit sticky!

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Cuisine, Satire

The Legacy Of Rolex!

The low-budget edition comes with an iconic smokey, rusty taste that is derived from the often sooty pan on which it’s prepared. The smoke rising from the charcoal stove delicately sips into the omelette and is a fundamentally vital ingredient that can’t be taken for granted, cos you’ll never find that distinctive flavor in the neatly-made rolexes.

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