Author

EM

Satire

Tracing the road to hell!

In this game, you emerge winner only and only if at the end of the day your vehicle’s suspension didn’t get wrecked. Or, if you didn’t meet and greet an on-coming car, head-on. Or, if you were lucky enough not to miscalculate and plunge into a roadside trench along with the Boda-Boda rider you ploughed into. Or all of the above!

Read more
Share this:
Opinion

Ugandans need to appreciate that God’s wisdom is Supreme.

In all, the real catch is bringing the nation to a place where there’s an appreciation of the truth that God’s wisdom is supreme and yet readily available to be inquired upon. Also, for our decision makers to understand that only the hand of God can direct and guide if our aspiration is to truly have prosperity invade this land.

Read more
Share this:
People, Travel and Culture

Happy ending at the massage parlor!

At 5:30pm my masseuse walks into the room. She’s a good-looking young lady. About 5ft tall. There’s a mask over her face. While I lay there on the warm massage table, she locks the only door to the room and then turns off the lights! What’s left is some really dim ambient lighting lining the edge of the ceiling. Sounding softly in the background is a playlist of every Kenny-G classic, particularly from his Breathless album. How convenient! Now I’m starting to feel like I could lose my breath anytime!

Read more
Share this:
Opinion

Fare Thee well Oulanyah!

Over the years, it has come to our knowledge that ignoring God is never without risk. A grim reminder of that fact are the several undesirable events that have gone on to take place here in Uganda despite prior cautions. And yet we’ve still remained unwaveringly stiff-necked!

Read more
Share this:
Opinion

Public health amendment bill absolutism may be resisted

Retrospectively, it’s not difficult to see why many would rather pass up on anything that evokes memories of that rough period, not least, enrollment for the covid jabs. Moreover, it doesn’t exactly inspire reassurance knowing that even after a dizzying array of jabs and booster shots, there’s still no guarantee that one wouldn’t catch the virus or die from it!

Read more
Share this:
Satire

The cost of unhealthy relationships!

That said, as a rule of thumb, whenever insects are dragged into any discourse in Uganda, it’s important to realize that money has either changed hands or is about to! Explains why when the story about some lad selling grasshoppers on an airplane emerged, my suspicions quickly heightened. In this nature of situation, the insects are usually scapegoats! Never mind the irony!

Read more
Share this:
Opinion

Unshackle the Church!

For the better part of the past 18 months, places of worship have experienced a total shutdown. The tragedy here is just as much in the closure as it is in the fact that a considerable section of the population appears to have gradually grown familiar and comfortable with this obscene arrangement.

Read more
Share this:
Satire

Let’s meet at Shoprite!

Finally, your nostrils drag you to the pastries and freshly-prepared foods area. In a short while, you’ll discover that this section is nothing more than a trap! You’re not hungry, but I can assure you, by the time you step out of Shoprite, you’ll be carrying two bags filled with all sorts of ready-to-eat food!

Read more
Share this:
Satire

Extreme Tourism in your backyard!

However, before you hop onto that airplane—good luck finding a direct flight to Kabul—you’re encouraged to meet up with your insurer. Dare not consider leaving that meeting before signing up for the K&R insurance package. That’s Kidnap and Ransom! And here’s why:

Read more
Share this:
Rob Walker
Opinion

Boosting Uganda’s image abroad

In early 2005, the Uganda Tourism Board forked out at least US$1m to CNN to boost the country’s image abroad. Compared to what we would be billed for having a celebrity, say, Kanye West, as our brand ambassador for the same period as the CNN ad was, that figure is arguably small. Yet the results would be way better with a celebrity than going through a media house.

Read more
Share this:
Close