Satire

The authorities, in a moment of sheer disbelief, and perhaps afraid that the monkey pox scourge would have a field day, had to close the store due to overcrowding. But that’s the sugarcoated mainstream version of the story. The backstory is that the irate local traders and manufacturers whipped up some high-end African voodoo—proudly sponsored by the top-notch services of a Nigerian witchcraft merchant—in a bid to destabilize their Chinese competitor. And from the looks of it, the African ancestors are working overtime.

After a decade-long illustrious career, Joshua Cheptegei hangs up his boots gloriously at the tender age of 27. That might be more inspiring than the entire contingent of 500-plus leeches—commonly known as MPs—and a half-century-old shipwreck government of seniles that seem to be allergic to retirement.

As diplomatic tensions rise between the two nations, we’re left wondering whether the UK will eventually invite the Ugandan government to talk through the matter at a good-old English tea party, complete with delightfully baked cream and jam scones; or maybe—just maybe—Uganda will invite the UK government to a rolex fest at State House, Entebbe, where they’ll have a polite conversation and tactfully resolve their differences!

Dubai spent what’s equivalent to the GDP of a small country on building the artificial Palm Islands in the sea, but when it came to dealing with water on land, it’s like they totally forgot to budget for umbrellas, boats and submarines.

My major problem with the visitors came during meal time. You know that point when the guest wants an additional serving of chicken, but there’s none left in the dish, yet there’s a piece on your plate? You, my friend, had to involuntarily sacrifice that juicy chicken wing!